Well, that’s disturbing

When I got home from work today, I found two white balloons not so much dropped as placed in front of my front-door.

Some people might think “surprise party”, my immediate thoughts ran more towards “serial killer”.

Turns out not so much placed as dropped. But there was a moment…

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Please answer the question

What an awesome idea, Apple. Instead of just having a password I need to enter when I want to download apps on my iPad, now you’ve added three compulsory security questions.

From a predetermined list, of course. No writing your own questions, that might lead to answers you can remember.

I wonder what it says about my life that there was an entire list of questions where the only answer I could think of for any of them was “None”.


Surrealist pick-up lines

Is that a duck on your hand or are you just pleased to see me?


Also…

Rain should only be allowed when I’ve remembered my rain gear.

Thank God I occasionally wear a hat.


Seems fair

Busses should only be allowed to be early when I’m already in them.

Not when I can be foiled by my own hubris.

Hubriiiis!


Some do’s and don’ts of prostitution

A case study.

Don’t go streetwalking with your 60+ year old mother. That’s just creepy.
Do let go of my arm.
Do have more sexy talk that “My hotel. Good fucking.”
Seriously, let go of my arm.
Don’t grab my crotch instead.
Do let go of my crotch.
Don’t make me drag you ten meters down the sidewalk by my crotch.
No, seriously, let go of my crotch, lady.

This has been todays case study in the do’s and don’ts of prostitution.


An important note to my self

The two families in Romeo & Juliet are Montague and Capulet, not Mercedes and Cabriolet.

That is all.